


i... i didnt know... i didnt know what it was

by troubledsouls



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 05:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4864601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler didn't know what it was at the time.<br/>Now all Tyler wants to do is forget it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Night

**Author's Note:**

> completely and utterly based off something that happened to me, i'm using this fic as a form of therapy i guess  
> it was so hard not to use first person oh godddddd

Tyler was eleven when it happened. 

He was sitting in the basement of the party his parents had dragged him to. He didn't know anybody, and nobody really cared about him. They were all adults except for himself and his siblings anyways. 

There was another boy in the basement. 

He looked a lot older than he was, tall, with curly hair and the beginnings of a beard. Tyler didn't know his name. He was in eighth or ninth grade, Tyler didn't know. Tyler was in sixth, young compared to everyone else. 

Tyler wanted to go upstairs, but the boy was sitting in front of the stairs, not letting Tyler go by. 

It was dark in the basement.

Tyler decided to poke him.

The boy poked him back.

They went on like that, poking each other.

Tyler liked this game.

"Wanna sit on the couch?" The boy said, speaking for the first time since they had started the poking game.

"Okay." Tyler said.

The two sat on the couch, a few inches between them.

The poking game resumed.

It was while before the boy did something Tyler didn't expect.

The boy tickled him.

Tyler grabbed the boy's hands and tried to force them away while he laughed. He and his mom always played a tickle game, but there were _levels_ there was green and yellow and red and red meant _stop right then_.

Tyler had the feeling this boy didn't know about red.

The hands started going up his shirt and then Tyler grabbed the boys wrists and _forced_ them down and away.

Then back to poking.

Tyler didn't know how it happened, but suddenly the boy was holding him down on his stomach. He was over the boys lap.

Tyler poked him experimentally.

He decided he didn't like the game that much anymore.

Tyler struggled to roll off the boy's lap and onto the floor, but he was _strong_ , and Tyler couldn't get off.

Tyler got a poke back.

Another poke from Tyler.

Instead of a poke back, the boy slipped a finger underneath the waistband of Tyler's pants.

Tyler poked him again.

A gentle pull down, only slightly, then back again.

Poke.

Pulled down farther this time.

Tyler stopped poking him.

After a few minutes, his hand moved away.

Another lighting fast switch of positions, so now Tyler and the boy were facing each other, the boy under him, Tyler not falling onto him because of shaky arms holding himself up.

Tyler couldn't poke him. But there was _something_ poking into him, into his leg.

Tyler was scared.

He wanted to game to end.

He stared at the boy until there was a call from his mom, to come upstairs, that they were going home.

Tyler was let go, and he raced upstairs.

He caught a glance at the clock.

It was 1 AM.

How was it 1 AM? 

How had that much time passed with the strange boy in the basement?


	2. The Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is good at repressing memories.

Tyler was standing backstage, rehearsal for the play. He loved acting, even though he had horrible stage fright.

The boy was there, but Tyler didn't remember that night a year ago, because he was excellent at pushing it away.

Some girls were talking to the boy, and he was responding in simple words, one word answers to yes or no questions. 

Tyler heard a name thrown in. 

_Jake._

 

"Josh?" Tyler asks his friend. They're walking home to Tyler's house. 

"What's up?" Josh asks with a smile. 

"Can I tell you something?"

"Shoot."

"Something happened a year ago."

"What was that?"

Tyler scrunched up his face. "Not sure. But it's important."

"Oh." Josh smiles at him. "You'll remember."

"I was with a boy. In a basement. It was dark." Tyler paused. "He tickled me."

Josh frowns slightly. 

"Maybe I'll remember later." Tyler shrugs.

 

Tyler is thirteen, and Tyler _remembers_.

He doesn't tell Josh, though. 

He doesn't tell anybody.


	3. Telling Josh

"Josh?" Tyler asked nervously, hands twisting around the hem of his shirt. 

He was fourteen and scared, pressing himself against walls whenever Jake passed, making sure not to sit near him at lunch, heart beating faster when they were close. 

"What is it, Ty?" Josh asked quietly. 

"There's something important I have to tell you." Tyler started hitting the heels of his hands together. 

"Is it as important as snakes?"

"More important than snakes, but a different kind of important."

"What kind?"

"Bad." Tyler tried to blink away the tears that were welling up.

"Will it be easy to tell me?" Josh gently put an arm around Tyler. 

"No." Tyler started hitting harder. 

"Hey, it's okay. Take your time." Josh kissed him gently on the cheek.

"There was a boy. And it was dark. And we started out poking each other, but..." Tyler trailed off, words beginning to stick in his throat. "He tickled me, but his hands went up my shirt..."

Tyler felt Josh tense. 

"Then he pinned me over his lap and I think he was trying to pull down my pants but didn't and I..." Tyler felt his throat close.

Josh hugged his gently. "Tyler, I'm so sorry."

"Why should I feel so scared! Why do I feel this way! He didn't rape me but I'm so scarred, so scared, so... Dirty!"

"You aren't dirty, Tyler." Josh said quietly. 

Tyler slammed his hands together, then splayed them out in front of himself. "I am, Josh. He touched me..."

"That doesn't make you dirty."

"I thought it was a game... I didn't know..."

"That's okay."

"He didn't actually rape me... I shouldn't be so scared I'm so stupid."

"Tyler, it's okay to be scared. You didn't give consent for him to touch you like that."

Tyler clenched his hands into fists. "Okay."

Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler. "I'll protect you."

"Okay."

"Do you know who it was?"

"Jake."

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of him."

Tyler smiled slightly. "Okay."

"Okay."


End file.
